6/13/2006

Where There's Fire, There's Smokin'

I was reading Berry’s post about the hangover you can get from smoking, ahhh smoking, and a couple of things came to mind.

First of all, applause: I quit smoking 7625 cigarettes ago and feel good about it although I still miss it.

At work, there are non-smoking people who continually harangue smoking people by letting them know how gross it is, how the smell is awful and how they’re costing the health care system.

Would it be alright for everyone to go off like this on someone who’s fat? You’re eating too much, you’re disgusting, you’re costing our health care system enormously.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate smokers and fat people too, I just don’t like to tell them to their faces. In a pinch, they’re the ones with the cigarettes and the food. Think about it.

28 comments:

Tanya Espanya said...

I was going to write my own post about my encounter at Starbucks the other day, but I'll just quickly mention it here.

I also hate smokers, fat people, and smokey fatties.

I went to Starbucks the other morning with Angela and her dad, before going to the big park, in the Beach.

I'm waiting for my coffee chocolatey minty slush thing, with whipped cream, and as the barista hands it to me and I'm about to take a giant slurp, an old geezer lady looks at me and says,

"How can you drink that, in all good conscience?"

And I gave her the withering glance and said,

"With my mouth." I then knelt to Angela's level and gave her some of my drink.

Health care this!

Berry said...

Wow. I knew about all that other stuff in cigarettes, but.... vinegar? Aw man... that's just sick!

A. Estella Sassypants said...

I have lots of smoker friends, and I've never smoked a cig in my life. I've taken to "second handing it" when they go smoke. I just stand around and inhale. I'm a supportive smoker friend--and fat! Yay!

Dale said...

Good answer Tanya but what exactly was she commenting on? What was so evil? Besides feeding that rotten kid caffeine I mean.

How I loved to sprinkle vinegary cigs all over my french fries. Good times Berry.

Andi, good for you, I wish I had used my brain and not ever started. As for the fat, well, I don't hate you but what would your Dr. House say?

justacoolcat said...

Hey, that looks just like my, err, a one hitter I once saw.

Tanya Espanya said...

Dale, I know! Is she against Starbucks? She was there too, so what are her politics against me and my whipped cream?!

I don't care what anyone says, I love Starbucks.

I don't get all panicky about ordering my drinks because I just say, "Give me a smallish froofy coffee with some peppermint in it." And I've never had anyone give me any grief about it.

I should probably order a venti latte with two pumps of cigarette and some fat sprinkles.

And I guess this is the part where I too admit that I am, well, if not fat, at least certainly sporting a well baked muffin top.

Dale said...

coolcat - I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

Tanya - I know I have no idea what you're talking about. Muffin top this.

Tanya Espanya said...

A muffin top...you know, the extra meat that hangs out at the top of your pants...although on some people it's a soufflay...

Beth said...

Dale, you're making me want to light up, and I'm not a smoker. Maybe it's my anger over your Zevon blasphemies ... or my jealousy over your widescreen ...

Dale said...

I'm sorry about poor Warren, it was the lack of something intelligent to say (this happens often). But yes, you may bow to the widescreen. All hail the widescreen. Smoke em if you got em.

justacoolcat said...

"I should probably order a venti latte with two pumps of cigarette and some fat sprinkles."

is going directly on my website. TE, pure genius.

Dale said...

She is genius but not so pure.

Tanya Espanya said...

Mr. Just A. Coolcat, thank you.

X. Dell said...

Funny. I thought there was tobacco in cigarettes somewhere.

Mob said...

"Don’t get me wrong, I hate smokers and fat people too, I just don’t like to tell them to their faces."

Lines like this will always keep me coming back for more, Dale. Funny stuff, my friend, funny stuff...

Dale said...

It's all about the nicotine delivery X. Dell but yeah, wehere's the effing tobacco? Looking at the picture again, I'm thinking there's some market share to be gained by selling it as a Swiss Army Cigarette.

Glad you got a laugh out of that Mob. If you can't make fun of a wheezing scooter rider, what's left?

Berry said...

"A Swiss Army Cigarette".... ROFLMFAO!!! Brilliant!

Reese said...

Justacool cat - I've seen that same one hitter. Where did I see that, again? Oh right, on top of my dresser.

Dale - this point really highlights all that is bullshit in our society.

Seriously, I would like to start being honestly with fat people, especially the fat people who say "i don't know why i'm so fat, i really don't eat that much."

I would like to say "stop lying to yourself. You are comstantly stuffing food into your gob and you don't even know it."

Anyway, no humour here - but I've seen the way people out and out snarl and snap at smokers, and it just seems ridiculous.

p.s. I've never believed that smokers cost the health care system more. I doubt that's ever been proven. I suspect it's a myth.

Dale said...

Glad you liked that Berry.

Reese - you're brilliant of course so everything you say is on the money.

I don't get the 'I don't know why I'm so fat' argument either. Stupid fatsos drunk on sugar - they don't know what they're saying.

Everything in moderation people, your porn, your bad habits, your angsty holdovers from childhood.

Everyone...1, 2, 3 --- EVOLVE!!

A. Estella Sassypants said...

He wouldn't say anything, or I'd beat him with his own cane! ;)

Dale said...

I can really get behind a girl who's not afraid to get violent. Like way behind, especially if she grabs his cane.

Creepy said...

I used to have that same one hitter. Actually, I've owned a few of them. Man, were those handy.

And thanks Dale, I am now overwhelmed with the desire to smoke a deatherette. If I don't make it to 6 months without butts I'm blaming you.

Dale said...

No smoking please, we're British. Well, we're not British but no point in hating you for smoking Creepy when there are so many other reasons! Har har.

James said...

One-hitters are great...except for the blowback. Cough-cough.

Thanks, Tanya, for a clever party quip. ;)

Dale said...

Blowback is Tricky James

ziggystardust73 said...

"Would it be alright for everyone to go off like this on someone who’s fat? You’re eating too much, you’re disgusting, you’re costing our health care system enormously."

This really cheered me. Thank you.

angel said...

nice going dale... i only stopped 750 smokes ago but i intend to stick it out for good!
and i couldn't agree with you more btw!

Dale said...

Ziggy hello! I've read some of your crazy posts after linking over from Saviour O'Nassis' blog. Good stuff and glad you're all cheery now.

Angel - ain't friggin' easy is it? I'm holding off at least until I retire and then I'm going to go underground and start up again but continue to ridicule others. It's just my way.