Of Bosom Buddies and Doppelgängers (Audio Post)

It's time for another audio post on Passion of the Dale so please travel all the way over to my sidebar to hear it. I felt it was high time I spoke my mind on one of the most important issues of the my day.

In the audio blog, I mention the wanted by Hollywood passport photo story and so here's a link to that. The vanity involved in me telling that story at the dinner in the audio post may have had more than a little to do with what happened next.



Anonymous said...

Dale, you embody "every man". In fact I called in America's Most Wanted International Hotline because I thought I saw them flash your picture. Turns out it was Osama - my bad.

I waited for you to say the word "out" and you didn't disappoint. You even threw in Vincent Price. But now that I've heard your voice again I realize who you truly sound like. Mr. Rogers. I bet the neighborhood kids and the mailman like you too!

Anonymous said...

Say it ain't so Dale. You're not a bland everyman like the irritating guy who used to do the Canadian Tire commercials?

Zed said...

Dale, you're never going to win a Pulitzer Prize if you keep doing AUDIO clips, no matter how amusing they are.

'Nuf said. :)

John Mutford said...

Not having seen your actual profile, you simply remind me of the Bumblebeman. And is Tom Hanks the everyman, really? I'd say that honour goes to David Bowie. Then again, I am always drunk.

Coaster Punchman said...

Ha! What a way to lift a guy up and then bring him back to Earth immediately. Don Knotts! I don't see the resemblance, but I like it.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are better than everyman, you are Daleyman! Sort of the same, but with more superheroey clothes.

I feel your pain with having one of those faces, as I get that all the time. Well not to the point of being accused of being at the beer store, but something equally disturbing. At the bakery the other day the clerk asked me, "you look so familiar, do you come in here every day?"

No, that's my fat twin sister.

Mob said...

You're our everyman sir!

Oh, and if the pics we've seen are indeed of you and not some you cribbed from a frame at the local beer store/five and dime, you look nothing like Don Knotts.

On a semi-related note, I had a friend who was told by a girl at a party that he looked like a character from Labyrinth, and since he looked nothing like David Bowie we were quite intrigued.

Turns out, she thought he looked like one of the fucking puppets! He will never live that down, not as long as there's breath in my body.

paperback reader said...

I used to get that a lot, too. People would say things like, "Do you go to a lot of yarn stores in this town?" Maybe they were a spy and that was the code phrase, because I can't imagine another reason for one human being to say that to another.

Joe said...

Everyman it is!

Jacy said...

a. You look nothing -- NOTHING -- like Don Knotts. You are handsome and he is not.

b. Voice IS a bit Vincent Price-ish. But you are also much more handsome than him as well.

That is all.

p.s. I can't really think of anyone you DO look like. You're just Dale, very unique with a great voice!

p.p.s. Yes, I am still a bit feverish, perhaps this explains my uncharacteristic gushing.

Dale said...

My sister used to tell me not to wear my beard when I went to the US as they might think I was a terrorist. She wears thick glasses. So it's Mr. Rogers now Suze? It just gets better and better. Dale out.

Oh, the Canadian Tire guy! How bland was he? I'll add him to my repertoire Gifted Typist. I think I mentioned him on my blog at one point.

Pulitzer, is that like a Wurlitzer Zed? I'll look into it.

I think I've seen Tom referred to that way in a dozen or more articles John. He's overrated, just like me. Then again, I'm always drunk.

She said it had something to do with the lighting and taking me down a peg CP. This is why I now travel with a team of lighting technicians.

My cape is a the cleaners Barbara but I'm ready for anything. I would have howled at your comment but my mouth was full of doughnut.

That's hysterical Mob and a real ego killer for your friend. I wonder which puppet?! Bonus points to you for continuing to throw it in his muppety face.

But do you Pistols? Do you? Answer the question.

I think I'm more half man, half biscuit Bubs but I'll take the title everyman for the sake of this post.

Take lots more medicine and keep commenting Jacy, it's working! For me anyway. I'm going to practice my Vincent Price.

Cap'n Ergo "XL+II" Jinglebollocks said...

Vincent, I can't really hear, but th' other guy, sho!!

Vics Vapo-Rub? WTF??

You make me realize that, with my conversion to Pastafarianism today, *I* need to put forth my best audio effort and sing to y'all one of my most favourite christmas songs... and then crabb off about good an' evil. Maybe I'll get a whole buncha comments just like you and *I* can get parenthetically tied up in this Everyman thing by association.

paperback reader said...

All right, I admit it. I can't get enough of yarn-based stores, because I am actually half cat on my mother's side.

X. Dell said...

Actually, I'd say John Waters as an NPR correspondant.

I can see it now. John Waters chosen to direct the movie version of Mayberry, RFD, with him playing Barney Fife. I'd reckon he'd do something about the sherrif's uniform, first of all. He'd turn Floyd into a hairdresser who works for Mary Vivian Pierce.

Maybe there could a gratuitous sex scene with Aunt Bea and Clara.

I know how you feel, actually. I'm always mistaken for other people. One time, my parents tracked this one guy all over Ann Arbor thinking he was me, and wondering why I wasn't at school in Wisconsin. Even after speaking to the guy, who denied being me, they didn't believe them.

So I get this frantic call at my dorm room wondering what I'm doing in Michigan. Since the dorm room was in WI, I could easily convince them that this was another person.

So if you think you've got a face that could confused with anyone's, at least your parents could pick you out of a crowd.

Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass said...

Hopefully the other guy won't ever decide to rob the beer store. You might wind up in jail.

gennifer6 said...

Oh! I get it! I finally figured out that audio-blog thing. Yes, I am that stupid.

You have no idea how fortunate you are, my friend. I am the exact opposite, I couldn't survive in a witness-protection program. Some by choice, some not. I'm a forceps baby there's obvious nerve damage in my face (think Stallone). My hair is dyed bright cherry-red on top and black underneath, literally two-tone. I have vitiligo, an obvious skin discoloration disease (hereditary). And I have arms, shoulders and a chest the size of man (chest, not boobs, sorry.) Trust me, you should be thankful. When people say they remember me, they really do, and they only knew me for thirteen minutes eight months ago. THAT sucks.

Anonymous said...

Funny, I think you look like Dale and sound like a Canadian.

James said...

Ha! You don't sound like any of those guys. You sound like my cousin Josh!

Where were you Saturday afternoon?

Helene said...

lol I would vote for ya! hehehe

I have one of those faces too! People often tell me I look like other people. I think I must just have common features or something.

Anywho... great podcast and I hope you had a good weekend!

Jenny Jenny Flannery said...

To paraphrase Chaka Khan: You're every man; it's all in you.

Chancelucky said...

I never did understand how Barney Fife and Thelma's relationship worked. She was pretty much the homeliest tv girlfriend of her time and I never could figure out Barney's intentions anyway.
It just seemed like Barney had a special relationship with Sheriff Taylor and occasionally Otis. I guess that would make Helen and Thelma cover dates of some kind.

Sixties TV seemed to have a thing for unmarried dads. I think it reached its height with Family Affair with the Brian Keith, confirmed bachelor who occasionally pretended to date, and his constant manservant Mr. French who clearly wasn't French. What the hell was that about? No wonder all the kids from that tv show had nervous breakdowns or drug problems.

So what happened to Don Knotts after Mayberry. He makes a movie called The Incredible Mr. Limpett, he plays a cartoon fish with no special effects. Then it's Shakiest Gun in the West, more odd references there. Finally, he turns up as Jack Tripper's landlord in Three's Company.

Dale, I just don't understand why you don't consider it a compliment?

Some Guy said...

I'd advise you to avoid challenging the "Turner & Hooch" Tom Hanks. That's a Tom Hanks you don't want to replace. I heard that dog was a slobbery pain in the ass.

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BeckEye said...

Where the hell are you? I think I picked up the killer cold virus and I'm still able to at least post a lame video once in a while.

Moderator said...

Though I don't know what you look like, I envision a young Buddy Ebsen when I read your blog.

Katie Schwartz said...

you're the hottest don knotts in town, toots.

I love your audio posts. You do sound like john waters. so funny.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Wow, I thought you have a little more bass to your voice.

BTW, that's Chef Eric Ripert, capitalizing on his slight resemblance to you...

Non, Je suis, er...I meayun, I am ze real Day-uhl.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Wow, I thought you have a little more bass to your voice."

That should read, "I thought you would have a little more bass to your voice."

Dale said...

I'm willing to share the Everyman title with every man Hot Lemon so get recording!

You sound soft Pistols, just sayin'.

As far as I know, my parents aren't tracking me X. Dell and for that I'm glad. The way I see it, they're lucky I let them have my phone number! That's quite a tale. And I can actually see John Waters in Mayberry now that you say it.

I always put my head down when the police drive by just in case BSUWG.

Adrian! I mean Genn6! You've got me beat by the sounds of it. Chances are, you're the one that looks just like from your description.

Thank you for restoring order to things Bluez.

James, sorry man, I couldn't make it Saturday, you know, that thing I had to do? Josh.

As long as they don't tell you you look like some bloggin' fool called Dale, you'll be fine Kate.

Anything you want done baby! I hope that's the next line. Do I get to wear the big hair like Chaka, Flannery?

Good thing Barney was so handsome huh Chancelucky? His wardrobe was always so deadly too. I just plain don't know how to take a compliment.

Should I go for the obvious "Big" joke here Chris? I'll save it.

Crescenet - Oi to the world.

Sorry Beckeye, I sort of fell off the face of my blog there for a bit. I'm a maroon. End of story.

Thanks for picturing the young version Grant. I won't tell you that I look more like the Barnaby Jones era Buddy.

I refuse to grow the creepy moustache though Katie, just imagine it's there.

I bet Eric Ripert doesn't have bass issues like I do WP. I'll work on it.

Valerie said...

You're too awesome to be "every man."

Don Knotts...bwahahahaha...I'm going to have a trippy dream about Don Knotts tonight, I just know it.

Dale said...

May he haunt your dreams instead of mine Valerie!