I Melt With You

Last Thursday, the mercury (do they still use mercury in anything but fish?) hit an astonishing 49 degrees Celsius with the humidity factored in (that's 120.2 degrees Fahrenheit!).  "I'm melting, I'm melting" seems to be the refrain all over the continent.

Only an intrepid named Sans Pantaloons could use a video of me in full after work attire falling into the pool to illustrate how to help me help you.  This graphic he created clearly outlines that A) I look like a pufferfish and B) I need to lose a few pounds.

Once I've managed those corrections, look for a mailer coming to you.  For a mere $29.99, I'm willing to teach you all the right moves.