5/16/2006

And Dream Of Sheep

I know someone who has taken photographs of people only to have them kick off shortly after. It's happened often enough to be freaky and a talking point. His intention has never been to kill anyone but this hasn't stopped me from repeatedly asking him to shoot specific people.

This reminds me.

Of the culling poem that features in Chuck Palahniuk's novel Lullaby. Just reading the poem to someone or thinking of the words has the power to send them to their death.

Of my own power at merely mentioning someone only to have bad things happen to them. See here.

Sandra knows of my power. Just the other day, she asked me if there was anything I could do about Paris Hilton. Sure thing I said. I think it was just enough that Sandra mentioned her. And now this has happened.

Is there any way to stop me from simply ruling the world now?

14 comments:

Mob said...

Poor Paris, that's three or four hours of her useless life that she'll never get back. I still want my time back for the fuckin' Simple Life!

Robert said...

I think it’s clear that there is no way of stopping your reign of terror, Dale. But how sad about Paris. And I’m thrilled that you’ve mentioned her. Any chance of getting your friend to snap a few shots of her? I hear she isn’t camera shy. But seriously, you know what’s the most interesting thing about Paris Hilton? No, really, I’m asking.

Dale said...

Simple is perhaps the best way to describe Paris (& Nicole). Am I right Mob? If I'm not, I know a guy who can take your picture, free of charge! I hear Nicole is in Vanity Fair this month telling all as everyone eventually does.

Hey Robert, if he won't, I'm grabbing the camera and going for it myself. I'm looking forward to someone eventually discovering her most interesting thing. I've seen her nekkid and still can't answer.

Bre said...

So how does this work precisely? Do I cross your palm with silver and then slip you hair from their head and an old photo? Cause I can totally do that.

Dale said...

My services are completely gratis Bre. I'm working on it right now! But I love the spirit of co-operation everyone seems to feel about this.

justacoolcat said...

You knew all of your Hilton Estate drive by's would pay off sooner of later, as for your buddy I hear Paris loves her picture taken.

Sandra said...

You truly are all powerful but I was hoping for something more than a shopping mishap- perhaps cancellation of all her credit cards, jail time for public nudity and her very bad taste, Tinkerbell to jump out the purse and bite her somewhere so she can never be photographed again, her joining some religious order that requires total silence -maybe next time - oh all powerful Frito Bandido.

Holly said...

Personally, I think the most interesting part of the Paris story is the person who was smart enough to swoop in and pick up the stuff.

That guy must be wondering who sprinkled some lucky pixie dust on him.

Dale said...

JCC - I totally wanted that gift basket especially after I saw Chrisuphuh do it to Lauren Bacall on The Sopranos. My plan worked!

Sandra - You are so much more evil than I was giving you credit for. I love that.

Holly - See above. Need anything? It all seems to be in here!

Creepy said...

Sandra's on the right path. How about a chemical accident that forced her to wear a mask for the rest of her life, like Tom Cruise in 'Vanilla Sky'. Anything that prevents me from seeing that insufferable smirk ever again.

Dale said...

Diabolical Creepy! Are you sure you're not just jealous that you haven't been able to perfect her looking over her own shoulder red carpet pose? Smirk.

gizmorox said...

She can't be human. Really. No one can be that skeletal and still exist.

I loved "Lullaby". It was so clever and scary. And you know, one of the many script outlines on my computer is about a photographer who buys a camera only to have it start stealing the souls of the people whose pics are taken. But that wouldn't work with Paris, of course, as you'd have to have a soul for it to be stolen.

Creepy said...

Hey, it's certainly not for a lack of trying...

Dale said...

Gizmo, maybe I should put you in touch with the guy I know! I really enjoyed Lullaby too.

As for Paris - no soul, no steal. Gift basket, go ahead, steal. And if someone steals her, well Creepy's been practicing the over the shoulder thing so...