7/13/2006

Cross Eyed And Painless

This morning, something hit me in the eye while not walking past that guard rail thing on my way to work. Anything can emerge from the fog banks that early in the day so I just rubbed my eye and soldiered on.

Lucky for me, I’m always stoned and keep a skid of Visine near my desk at work. I headed for the bathroom to spy with my inflamed eye what the damage was.

It was a bug. A dead bug laying peacefully on the little red ball thing at the corner of my eye.

I felt special. To be chosen of all other beings in the universe for this poor little thing to spend his last seconds with.

Then I felt dirty. And I’ve been washing my eye out for an hour. Fucking bugs. Tasty though.

17 comments:

Holly said...

the little red ball thing at the corner of my eye

What is that, anyway? Is it the lacrimal duct? Part of the conjuctiva? Where's an ocular anatomist when you need one?

A. Estella Sassypants said...

Well, at least it wasn't stuck in your teeth.

Coaster Punchman said...

Another moving tale. What do they call that little red ball thing? There must be a name for it.

chelene said...

That's pretty gross, but at least you got a little protein snack.

ziggystardust73 said...

"little red ball thing at the corner of my eye"....

I'm assuming that's the very technical, scientific term?

I've linked you by the way... hope you don't mind. (oops, it's too late if you do!)

justacoolcat said...

Now that your eyeball is a sacred burial groud you will have to grant special rights to all bugs.

So make it easy on yourself. Poke a little maggot hole, sit back, and relax. In no time at all your stareball will be a HappyFunLand of bug condos, golf courses, and puss.

mellowlee said...

*hands you a pair of sunglasses* From now on, please wear these when out a walkin' k Dale?

Dale said...

I don't know what the hell it is for sure either Holly. At first I thought it was my clown nose getting in the way but nope, it's a part of my eye.

Not at first anyway Andi.

At least I was moving during the tale CP. I think that's why the bug was attracted to me, he knew I was going somewhere.

It's all about the snacks Chelene.

Ziggy, how dare you try and get technical on me! As a retaliatory move, I will link you as well.

Fun Wow! Thanks Coolcat, I woke up from a nap here at work and found scaffolding already going up around the eye.

They won't fit now MellowLee...see above! But you're as cute as a bug to make the offer.

X. Dell said...

Bugs are full of protien, and have little fat. I could never develop a taste for them.

But if you like them, here's bug in your eye.

Dale said...

Clever clever X. Dell. I'm bug eyed with laughter. That doesn't make sense but you already took the best line. Curses. And more laughter.

Shroom-Monkey said...

damn bugs- I am proud of you for eating the thing- you crazy eye gunk bug eater you!

Dale said...

It's all I ever wanted Shroom-Mom, for you to be proud of me.

Jen said...

I hate when that happens
it's worse when they fly up your nose

Dale said...

I think it's even worse than when they pretend you're not there and just fly on by.

Saviour Onassis said...

Dale, you are both special and dirty. Any self-respecting bug should be happy to die in your eye.

Here's looking at you, kid...

The Delusioneer said...

I once saved a bee from a pool... 2 days later i got stung by a bee... put me in the hospitol. so i have to agree.... fucking bugs.

Dale said...

The problem is Saviour that I want to be Dirrrty. I'm working on it. Thanks for the encouragement though.

Saved a bee? You're my new hero Delusioneer. Same bee probably. They're finicky little fuckers.