7/18/2006

The Lent Trap

Each year at Lent, my mother would expect us all to give up some food item or treat so we could play the suffer along at home game with Jesus. This expectation had little to do with the way I felt, so I ignored it.

In order to drive home the point, Mom sometimes taped up a picture of a malnourished child on the front of the fridge. This act did little to quell my urge to eat regularly.

One day, the following exchange took place as I opened the fridge.

Mom: Didn't you see that picture I put on the front of the fridge? There are thousands and thousands of starving children in Africa.

Dale : Name one.

I'm not sure whether I'd heard that somewhere else or if maybe Biff was putting words in my mouth but I never got lectured at Lent again.

17 comments:

Rinda Elliott said...

Love it. ROFL!

mellowlee said...

I need that book!

Mob said...

That's pretty cold, Dale.

You could've written cold-blooded one-liners for the action stars back in their 80's heyday.

Dale said...

I thought it was funny too Rinda although my mother didn't.

The book was worth the read Lee, irreverent and fun.

I'm all about temperature control Mob. It's hot here so I thought I'd be cold.

Beth said...

Your mama must have been a saint. Backtalk to a Southern mama = spanking. Hmmmmmmm ... wonder why I'm still a backtalkin' smartass?

Dale said...

I learn a little more with each comment Beth.

chelene said...

Just another reason to like you...linking to Christopher Moore. Lamb is awesome. Did you read Practical Demonkeeping?

Dale said...

I haven't read Demonkeeping Chelene but I do have Fluke lined up. Lamb was just so, I don't know, Jesuslicious.

chelene said...

Blasphemy was never so funny.

mellowlee said...

I will have to get one of you to mail me a reading list LOL
Seriously, I'm constantly jotting down book titles.

Dale said...

I love my blasphemy too Chelene.

One day, take the list to a store ML!

Creepy said...

So you've always been incorrigible. I love it.

Dale said...

Creepy - Having a religious zealot for a mom and a nun for a sister, someone had to represent. Easy for me to say when you can't see how white I am.

Old Lady said...

Ooo-I would have been sent sailing!!! But you know that.

Dale said...

Although I choose to recall my smart ass remark, I'm probably not reporting that she would have at least swatted at me following something like that. I can almost feel your pain.

Bored Dominatrix said...

Lent was one of those things that made us Mormons dismiss Catholics as wackily superstitious. We all knew that god doesn't want you to give up dessert, just pre-marital sex.

Dale said...

BD - that's so funny. I may have misjudged the Mormon God a little. I wish I hadn't thrown out all those Donny & Marie records.