True Life Adventures of an Amazon

Anybody who's ever bought something from Amazon is likely to receive communiques from them with helpful suggestions for new purchases based on past purchases.

Sometimes, they hit the mark and let me know for instance, there's a new Chuck Palahniuk book out that I need, yay! Other times, I'm just left scratching my head for other reasons than that I have lice.

Some recent gems from my 'Inbox' that have given me extra lice:

We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated The Vicar of Dibley have also purchased Killing Hitler on DVD.

We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated books by T.S. Eliot have also purchased The Essential Dykes To Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel.

Rather than get too rankled about it, I'm going to call the dykes I do know and ask them to rise up against Hitler and keep Dawn French safe and warm. And then I'm going to shampoo.


Joe said...

By following your Pahlaniuk link I found a book titled "Clown Girl", so I'm happy.

Bravo for life's fun juxtapositions.

Cap'n Ergo "XL+II" Jinglebollocks said...

just don't leave that stuff on your head for TOO long, it'll cause yer hairs to be brittle. Also don't forget to put all your stuffed animals into bags for at least a week or longer.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

So true. You buy one Harlequin romance novel FOR RESEARCH and you're inundated with emails full of thrusting this and rippling that. It's awful, I tell thee.

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm slightly dizzy after reading this.

Esther said...

Wow, I've gotten recommendations from Amazon before but none that bizarre!

Anonymous said...

Wow, may I call you "nit boy"? No? BTW, I have the new book on hold. Let me know when you read it.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I would suggest shampooing FIRST, actually.

Helene said...

did they really suggest those or did you embellish? Too funny! I just ordered a book for my son Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life by Neil Strauss I can hardly wait to see what I get for suggestions! lol

BeckEye said...

Please tell me that Catherine Zeta Jones is one of the essential dykes. Because she's been on my watch list for some time now.

Holly said...

the Amazon folks once sent me, every single morning for two weeks, the suggestion that I buy the large-print version of "Jacob's Room" by Virginia Woolf. They told me it wasn't them, that someone was maliciously spamming me with their email program, just to be mean. All I have to say was, it worked: It was really, really, really mean, and ensured that I will NEVER read "Jacob's Room" in any version at all.

X. Dell said...

A dead Hitler up against living lesbians? I don't think you could get a bet on Hitler in Vegas.

Dale said...

All the world loves a clown girl Bubs. I went back and had a look at that, interesting.

I'll just put my books into bags since I never get around to reading them Cap'n. I'm actually not carrying around any lice. Lice and humour rarely meet it seems.

Considering how turned on I was just by your comment Imaginary Reviewer, I'm seeking help.

That's your meds kicking in CP.

Truly strange Esther, I can't figure out some of their picks. I do get some that make sense but now and then, it's way off.

Will do Suze. I love his ideas although I often find his books fizzle a bit before the end. Sort of like my blog.

But should I rinse and repeat Barbara? So many decisions!

Those were actual recommendations Helene. I think I posted once about getting a recommendation for a Stained Glass Jesus colouring book and that was after having bought God is Not Great.

Essentially, you should try and bump into her, if I can locate Kirk Douglas again, that might be your in Beckeye.

What kind of a spammer does that Holly? I'm sorry you were tortured so.

He'd still be running if they were after him X. Dell.

Cormac Brown said...

Er...I thought Dawn French is married to Lenny Henry, and what would be the female equivalent of a "beard?"

Gifted Typist said...

Love love love D. French and V of D. Series tape set on it and watching it weekly.

Sans Pantaloons said...

I need beer.

Dread Pirate Jessica said...

While I'm quite fond of many an essential dyke, I find it sad to see that apparently T.S. Eliot's customer base on Amazon seems to be largely limited to such a small percentage of the population.

I blame (or thank) "I've Heard the Mermaids Singing".

Evil Genius said...

That's nothing. You should see my "Recently Viewed Items" list.

Dale said...

I should read her book, it's laying around here somewhere Cormac. I had to look her hubby up to figure out how beard-y he might be.

It's a brilliant bit of television isn't it GT? I love it a lot.

Get me one too Sans, no sense wasting a trip to the fridge.

I think your blame is well placed Jessica.

I feel dirty just thinking about it Evil Genius. Well done!

Deepti said...

Oh, I love "related" searches. Having sent an email with references to my mother, Google suggested "Writing eulogies".

Moderator said...

I bet the essential dykes had something to do with killing Hitler.

Anonymous said...