Still Diggin' Graves

I can't help it. Shutup. I watched it again. Shutup. American Idol.

The best part of this episode was seeing that beautiful baby Alistair that Rod Stewart had with that fembot cheerleader Penny. We get it Rod, your junk still works.

What was with the rosary you were sporting around your neck? Forget your garlic necklace at home? Never hurts to cover all your bases. Or your age spots.

Chris the bald guy was wearing a cravat. Plus Randy played guitar for him. He did pretty good considering when he goes back to UPS they are gonna kill him for wearing that outfit.

Paris sounded like she'd done a little smack with Aunt Paula before the show. Nice return of the hairpiece. Whinnnny.

Taylor - I love ya but I always feel like when you start dancing someone should be holding your tongue so's you don't swallow it.

Elliott - wow. You even made Paula scratch her nuts there when she critiqued you.

Kelly - wow. You're sorry.

Ace is an uber creepy fuck. He can now join that group Il Gayo. He said about his slicked back hair - I didn't cut it. Say that again.

Catherine - you're so Posh Spice but with posh pipes. You fit the suit. But you're not as good as they say.

First featured celebretard in the audience - Marilu Henner.
Hiding in plain sight and from Scientologists - Mimi Rogers.
Debra Wilson from MAD TV who plays Oprah in Scary Movie 4.
Michael Crapaport and some other nuts and bolts.


My psychic mind control finally worked -- see you Ace!


gizmorox said...

Paris can really sing but there's absolutely no emotion. She's too young for some of these songs. The notes mean nothing if you can't convey what the words mean. And Pickler just needs to go the fuck home already. Jesus.

Dale said...

Poor the Pickler. The clock's ticking but America will most likely forgive her one more time. Let Ace begone! Make it so.

Anonymous said...

Can Paula be sent home? Please...

Dale said...

If there's a way to send her home, I'm all for helping. Actually, if Ace does get the boot, Paula will be stuck to him like the dog she is.

gizmorox said...

I think the season should end with Simon throwing a haymaker in Paula's direction. I'm sure he would agree with me.