It's official - Kenny Rogers is now a Gabor! And such a bang up job he did coaching the kids this week on American Idol. Nice of him to help most of them suck just as bad as ever.
Since I don't like to unnecesarily pick on anyone or be judgemental, I'll try and limit myself to constructive criticism.
If anyone really liked Ace, they'd push on his diaphragm until his balls dropped and then we might get a song out of him. The only thing he seems to do well is get Paula stuck to her chair.
Ryan did mention though that Ace is single! He's only single because Ryan broke up with him and is dating Teri Snatcher. Love that man stubble she helped you grow.
Catherine looked great, Chris did a good job and Elliot caused Paula to feel he showed careless reckless abandon. In a ballad. Paula Paula Paula. When you do fall ass over tea kettle off that chair and hit your head, I hope I'm watching.
Everyone else was sucky. Although the Pickle had red velvety boobs. And Mandisa had a Navajo caftan. And Bucky wears a felt cowboy hat. And Taylor dyes his brows. And Paris is gonna get the shit beaten out of her by both LeAnn Rimes and Trisha Yearwood. And maybe America.