8/01/2006

Ask Dale

I am absolutely opposed to writing about things so mundane as the weather. So, this post is not about the weather, at least not directly.

Earlier today, I was talking to my friend Tanya, who is at least as wonderful and frightening as anything Mother Nature can throw at us. She talked a bit about us, I talked a bit more about us and then we discussed how we know why it’s so damned hot lately.

We’ve both had our inboxes inundated by spam or junk e-mail over the last while. We don’t mind a bit of junk e-mail, it makes us feel special, but this is ridiculous. How much bigger do you think our penises can get? We’ve taken your pills, we’ve used your enlargers and now look at us! We’re so gigantic and engorged that we’re causing heatwaves.

Any other questions?

30 comments:

Tanya Espanya said...

I see your font is enlarged...good to know those spam e-mails finally worked!

jin said...

Brilliant theory!

(But I'm STILL pouting!!!)

X. Dell said...

I think the point of those ads, at least for couples, is to get you to keep taking these enhancement pills until the increase in bust size matches the increase in inseam size, thus making it easier for couples to realize that they are each mutually responsible for the distance between them.

mellowlee said...

My spam has probably tripled in the past month. Those spammers are getting super aggressive. Thank goodness it's only email. Can you imagine if they were door-to-door salesmen? Yikes!

justacoolcat said...

"We’ve both had our inboxes inundated by spam"

I hope it was a water based spam.

Though sometimes when truly engorged an oil based spam might be the only thing that does the trick.

Angela said...

Er, no further questions from me...
A population of well-endowed human males is gonna keep me awake at night long enough.

Shroom-Monkey said...

Dale, I want to see proof. If all this stuff is really working for ya, why don't you share a little love and spread the joy.. Pix please!!!!

Dale said...

Oh Tanya, you came and you gave and then you came again but I sent you away. Now go.

Poor Jin. Pour gin. Pouting suits you at times.

Now that's an angle I hadn't worked out X. Dell. At once you are wise and insane.

And imagine if they were all selling cigarettes and comic books Lee?

You never fail to disappoint CC. I knew someone would go for the inbox and look at you go!

You may need a cool slushie to keep things under control Angela.

Dale said...

Cheeky Monkey! I'll have to get my wideangle lens and Tanya in the same room and go for it. And who's this person Joy you mention?

Creepy said...

What I want to know is how they found out I had a small penis in the first place?

Dale said...

We all knew about it Creepy, we just didn't want to say anything.

mellowlee said...

Dale: I would post a sign that says "Fuck Off" in my window ;)

Dale said...

You're a smart girl Lee. Done.

Old Lady said...

I get those same e-mails, I wonder why?

Dale said...

I'm sure I don't know why O.L.

Mob said...

Other questions...hmmn, yeah, since it's been so damned hot, can I stand in the shade of your enormous penis for awhile, just to cool off and get away from the sun?

larry h. said...

Why is it that I get the strange feeling that one day Enzyte is going to pull a Johnny Mnemonic and go, "Hello World we're coming live at you and we're going to download a list of all the folks with small penises, so set your VCRs because we'll only get one chance at this." And throughout the land there are lamentations and gnashing of teeth. Or maybe that's just me being a wee bit evil.

Dale said...

Mob, for sure but I'd bring an umbrella just in case anything unseamly happens.

Or that's just you being wee Larry H. Don't worry, one pill makes you smaller, one pill makes you large.

anne altman said...

i want to know why match.com rejected my photo but let a fella with a huge mole on his nose show half his face. the half without the mole. i was duped.

Dale said...

Because you're anti-moletic Anne. I thought you were an animal lover but how can you ever be expected to focus on that guy's real faults if you can't get beyond the pet he carrys around on his face. Shame on you.

SlayGirl said...

"Moley, moley, moley". I guess I am an AM as well Dale. *Hangs her head in shame* You should still find out how big of an umbrella to bring AA it may change your mind.

Coaster Punchman said...

I wish I were as wonderful and frightening as anything Mother Nature could throw at us. Well on second thought, I am just as frightening.

Poor Jin. Pour gin. Ha!Ha!Ha! Good one!!

Coaster Punchman said...

Oh, dear. You didn't approve my last comment for posting. Now I feel like a second class commenter. Or is that commentator? Why do CPs always end up on the back of the bus?

Dale said...

Moles for the Moley, start a charity Slaygirl.

I'm sure you're as wonderful as a second class commenter can be CP. You're best of the worst in my book.

Beth said...

I'm a little curious to follow through on my spam and see if I can sprout a large penis ...

Dale said...

You have to be careful Beth, you never know where it might sprout. Best to start with existing pipes.

Shroom-Monkey said...

So where are these pix you talk about, I have been waiting anxiously.....

C'mon Dale.....

Dale said...

I'm afraid if you see the pix, you'll be able to say with certainty, yep, he's a dick alright.

Shroom-Monkey said...

Never.....
Not me.....

Dale said...

Can you put your hands where I can see them please?