8/29/2006

Mmm Mmm Good

At my workplace, there's been a renewed interest in health and safety issues lately. As with most things, it's cyclical. Every couple of years somebody throws together a committee and pamphlets and stickers are handed out to remind me not to drink the liquid paper. Don't they know I can't be taught?

Today I received a very important priority email advising that one of the computer programs we use has had a background colour makeover and will now cause less eye strain. Do you know the level of excitement this could cause around here?

I need a drink.

23 comments:

Ben said...

haha, how did we ever get on in life before computers. At work, if we're not using them we're talking about them.

Mob said...

Yay eye strain! Try to organize the wave within the cubicles in a fit of mad celebration.

Have they tried gluing thumbtacks to the outside of the liquid paper bottle to keep you from handling it? Or would you just devise a chopstick method for consuming it?

Holly said...

You guys still have liquid paper? It seems to have disappeared from my workspace. Now there's just that ribbon that you roll over mistakes. The ribbon stuff is better for when you've got a whole mess of wrongness, but liquid paper still has its uses--one of which, I understand, is as a coffee whitener.

Old Lady said...

MSDS Sheets, ah the excitement and danger of working at a desk. If you are not careful you might poke out your eye.

chelene said...

Last week we had someone come in to show us how to use our new ergonomic chairs. This thing has more bells and whistles than a NASA control board but I still don't feel completely comfortable.

Dale said...

It's gotten rather ridiculous hasn't it Ben? I'm proud to only use or complain about computers for about 14 hours per day between work and home.

Chopsticks? Ah so, Mob. Very wise. I will lead bowing and waving to your brilliance. Pod people of the world unite and take over!

We have it Holly but as I never make mistakes, I've been looking for other uses. Beverage, coffee whitener (thanks for that), tooth whitener, fake bird doo prank, all sorts of fun stuff.

MSDS are great for papercuts Old Lady. Plus it's another acronym I can use. Send me for WHMIS training again and again!

I love my ergo chair Chelene but yes, it's tough getting the hang of things. Mine is souped up to the point that all I need is the communicator on my shirt and I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise.

Chancelucky said...

Do you drink the liquid paper straight up? Liquid paper seems to be the only flavor they haven't tried in Martinis down here...

So what colors or combinations do reduce eye strain?

Beth said...

Did they have a nice New Background cake for y'all?

justacoolcat said...

Dale what's up with your TPS reports man? Did you get the memo?

I'd like my applications to get a color make over.

I wonder is MTV's MADE does software?

Jen said...

liquid paper is good on french fries

mellowlee said...

I'm curious about the colours that reduce eyestrain too. I've never had a ergo chair *sniffles* The last job I had, the chair at my desk would nearly dump me on my head. It squeaked and tipped over too. Evil chair! Evil Spa owners!!

mellowlee said...

Ummmm...Im not sure, but I think blogger just ate my comment. I hit publish, and it gave me a white screen.

mellowlee said...

Oh it didn't eat it, YAY, there I am! *claps hands*

Dale said...

Chancelucky - I like to cut the liquid paper with just a bit of toner, makes photocopying a little lighter.

As for the eye strain reducing brainwave? Black letters, white background. Spectacular or what? Previously the page had some green background and some yellow components on it too. To tell you the truth, I never really noticed it. I think I'll complain about increased strain and then burp up a bubble of liquid paper.

No cake Beth, they just patted themselves on the back over their brilliance.

Yeah, Coolcat, are you gonna need me to come in on the weekend? If I knew what MTV's MADE was, I'd think of something funny to say. At least I hope I would.

Jen, you are a Casual Slacking genius! It looks like mayo but it's a whole different taste sensation!

So that's why your photo is upside down Lee? I'm glad I brought this important topic to light. It gave you the white screen so you could visualize black letters on it so you could be right there with me enjoying all the wonderful advancements at my work.

justacoolcat said...

Dale - You don't know what MTV MADE is?

Well let me tell you, it's horrible.

Dale said...

I believe exactly what you say CC. We have MuchMusic here and only recently got us some MTV.

jin said...

Hmm...I'm thinking you may have a possible lawsuit here. If they changed the background so there is LESS eyestrain, this means that they knew it was straining the eyes to begin with.
Premeditative blindness.
If you win millions I get half.
It was MY idea!

X. Dell said...

I was wondering is drinking paper really a problem at your workplace? Especially since, as Holly points out, it's becoming less and less of an office staple?

Berry said...

Wait... only ONE of the computer programs has had its background changed?? Are they putting together another committee to handle the eye safety of all the other programs?

Shroom-Monkey said...

I like huffing the perm and dry erase markers, in fact I keep an extra box in my desk for special moments. HR caught on to me and made me take down my quote of the day board. Well maybe not because of the huffing- I did kinda make up most of the quotes and they were rather offensive, or sexual or politically incorrect... Fuck, I can't help it, I watch a lot of television........ Why can't you take quotes from Next or Flavor of Love???

Dale said...

Ah but fair Canada is a much less litigious country than many Jin so I don't think it would work. We're more prone to just saying sorry, over and over again.

We may be behind the times on the liquid paper front X. Dell. I'm surprised that we still have it too considering most of our work is computer based. Still, there's a whole cabinet of it. And staples. And other things I rarely need. Shall I put you and Holly in touch with management? I'm know you'd both do a great job.

Good point Berry. I'm going to get a discussion going on this and no doubt several sub committees will be commissioned to think about looking into this.

That's one of my favourite lines (of many) from the film Citizen Ruth if I could just stop the huffing. I'm sure you know they have scented markers for smelling purposes Shroom Monkey. You should put up a post on your fave quotes filth and all.

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm not 100% certain about this, but I'm fairly confident that Mindy June used to eat paste in grammar school. She was a paste eater.

Dale said...

I love the dirty confessions CP. Paste eater MJ.