8/21/2006

Lunch Money

I decided a long time ago that I waste a lot of money every day buying my lunch at work.

My rationale is simple. If I bring my lunch to work, I’ll get sick of eating boring sandwiches. So, instead, I choose to buy and eat boring sandwiches every day. I showed me, didn't I?

Another longstanding problem has always been that there’s nothing suitable for me to carry my lunch in. There's just something about a simple brown bag or a grocery bag that screams COMMON SENSE to me and so that’s definitely out. A briefcase maybe? I ruled this out because I don’t have the type of job that requires the transport of important looking documents hither and yon. European carry-all? Not a look I could pull off. Backpack? Since my nice leather one was stolen that time, I never got around to replacing it.

I settled in to do some research. Years went by as I watched, listened and slowly tabulated my findings. The briefcase as viable lunch carrier had been passed over too hastily. My results conclusively showed that briefcases are primarily employed by people who need a safe haven for their car keys, sunglasses, umbrellas and lunches. Occasionally work can be found in them but only if there’s room.

Yesterday, I set out for the mall and purchased a beautiful new leather briefcase. I was so happy packing it with a nice lunch, a few snack items, the cell phone I never use, my book and a pen. Imagine the spring in my step as I rose up to my full height and made my way to the train station. And then turned around and went back home. I wondered how it would work on a Monday!

35 comments:

Tumuli said...

Suitably, probably. Practicality delivers!

chelene said...

If your boss sees you walking around with a briefcase he will assume that you are looking for another job. In an effort to keep you, you will be given more responsibilities which lead to an increased workload, stress and long hours. You will no longer have time to make your own lunch because you are a "rising star" and/or a "go-getter". In the end, as your pumpernickel grows stale and your cold cuts wither, you will stare wistfully at brown bags and grocery bags wondering where it all went wrong.

Or not. :)

Shroom-Monkey said...

ummm Lunch Box????

I carried my Mystery Machine Lunch box to CDC for 2 years. Granted everyone laughed at me, but I have never been one to give a rat's ass about what other people think. It was a nice hard plastic and held up well. I loved it...

PJ said...

That is really cute that you would take it on a trial run! I am getting my daughter ready for college and we bought (she and I) a satchel. When she was out one afternoon I packed it with her laptop, a notebook, my book and glasses and tried it out around the house. I know exactly how you felt, but I had to give it back. Enjoy!!

Dale said...

I'm all about practicality but only if I can still manage to look pretentious Tumuli.

You are the wisest of all Chelene. I will never let the boss see it. Also, when you said pumpernickel and cold cuts, did you mean...? Strike the question.

And what has become of the Mystery Machine? Should I call Scooby? Shroom-Monkey? Hello? Hello? Operator.....

Hi PJ. Don't be silly, I didn't take it on a trial run, I took your daughter's satchel. It is nice! Good choice.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

This reminds me of my mildly retarded or possibly over-medicated on account of the schizophrenia therefore appearing retarded uncle jaunting off to work everyday with his precious suitcase. No one is allowed to touch it and he's very insistent that it contains high-profile stuff.

We opened it once to find a "tiffin"-chapati box + curry container, 3 dried jasmine bunches and a picture of Hanuman, Monkey-God.

justacoolcat said...

Who knew briefcases weren't for an emergency pair of Fruit of the Looms.

To think all this time I could have used the bathroom.

lulu said...

I have a Lands' End lunchbox that I have carried to work for the past 4 years. I have a really bad tendency to leave food in it, so it tends to smell.

Creepy said...

I use a small, soft, insulated cooler bag to bring my lunch. Keeps things fresh, is lightweight, and easy to clean in case anything spills. Although I do have a bitchin' briefcase but nothing to carry in it -- if I bring my lunch in it I'll look more professional! You're a friggin' genious!

mellowlee said...

You're awesome Dale! You crack me up :)

X. Dell said...

The added advantage of having a briefcase is that you have something in which to transport your secret documents.

Dale said...

I love it when you suck up to me like that MonkeyMcW - mildly retarded and overmedicated? That's me, sweet talker! I promise never to carry Ian Hanomansing in my case. I wonder if he knows his name sounds like a monkey god?

These emergencies Coolcat, do they happen regularly? I'm worried about you.

Dale said...

Lulu - do you mean Land's End as in the book? Thinking of that made me smile and feel sick at the same time. Excellent.

I'm all about the helping Creepy. You talked a good game on the cooler bag though, I almost wanted one. Put the bag in the case and step away from the genious.

Thanks Lee, I'm here all week!

I love secret documents. I want secret documents. I may have to just print some things off and stop draggin' my blog around.

lulu said...

Lands' End, the Wisconsin purveyors ot high quality weekend wear, and my former employer.

Tenacious S said...

I drive around a lot for work and usually eat while I am driving from point A to point B. Everything must be packed for one hand use. Paper bags are good for that, but then my lunch gets all hot. I still haven't found a carrier. My messenger bag really does have work in it since I am mobile, so can't put it in there. What to do?

Dale said...

Well, high quality weekend wear is a whole 'nother thing but still a cool lunchbox.

I was thinking of this book we had to read in I think junior high school called Land's End. A group of kids have to fend for themselves and one of the kids has no sense of smell. They have to yank all this spoiled food away from him because he doesn't know it's bad. Fits your comment too. Okay, I'm done.

Coaster Punchman said...

Have you checked out the Vegan Lunchbox blog? I became obsessed with that lunchbox. And now she's homeschooling her kid, so the lunchbox is no more. Sigh.

jin said...

BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*EVIL GRIN*

You silly fools!
Taking lunches to work!

Nya nya-nya-nya-nya!
:-P

I work in a pastry shoppe.
I make fruit crepes w/ freshly whipped cream for lunch, if I want to.
I make organic berry stuffed french toast for lunch, if I want to.
I make banana pancakes with maple syrup for lunch, if I want to.

But sometimes,
sometimes I
just
EAT
TRUFFLES

*More Evil laughter*
:-D

p.s. so sorry, didn't mean to tease anyone. heehee

Old Lady said...

No, no, no!!! There are cleaver, manly insulated cold packs(about the size of a 6 pack)with multiple pockets to carry manly things & lunch.

Tenacious S said...

They would all melt in my car.

Mob said...

Living in this tiny town has the advantage of allowing me a five minute drive to the house for lunch, so the whole lunch box thing is a moot point for me.

I have, however, driven nearly to the shop on a day off, out of habit and daydreaming, so I can completely identify with the train station thing.

Ben Heller said...

haha. Good one Dale.

With your new posh briefcase are we to expect some "Power lunches" or just the boring old usual ?

Beth said...

Mmmmmm ... the mingling smell of leather and old sandwiches ...

Dale said...

A multipocketed bib might work Tenacious. Keep ice in the glove compartment? Do people still call it the glove compartment. Do people still wear gloves?

Hi CP, I had seen the lunchbox. But does it have to be strictly vegan? How about a nice compartment for bacon?

You're providing evidence Jin that sugar leads to the dark side.

I should just carry the six pack and be done with it Old Lady. Good thinking!

Glad to hear you can identify Mob. Especially with the parts where unlike me you don't take your lunch to work and you drive to work accidentally and don't pretend to go to the train station. :-)

Oh no, power lunches all the way Ben. Can you provide soundtracks if I provide the lunch menu?

All of Beth's men wear the powerful new cologne Leather & Old Sandwiches by English Leather.

Mob said...

Would it help if I were to pretend that there was a train station?

Dale said...

You don't have to Mob. I'm just funning with you. I'll imagine it on your behalf. See how Canadian and polite I am sometimes?

Grant Miller said...

Perfect! I can't wait to steal your briefcase just like when I stole your backpack!

Dale said...

Dear Grant Miller,

Hear that siren?

Love,

Dale

Angela said...

I used to buy my lunch everyday for the last year, but I just started a new diet this week. Only spinach and chicken for me now...and I am getting really crabby...

Dale said...

A diet of only spinach and chicken doesn't sound so well balanced. Two days in and you're getting really crabby? Probably not a good time for me to make fun of you. Stay well.

Holly said...

Could you bring a can opener and case of chef boy-r-dee ravioli to work? That would allow you to reindulge in your chldhood delight AND save you the problem of spending too much AND get rid of the need to haul something along with you every day.

Dale said...

How about if I just get a job at Costco Holly? That might solve it all. A skid of this, a skid of that, employee discount and one big fat happy Chef Boy-Ar-Dale

You're a genius.

Holly said...

Well, thanks. I admit I find my own solution to the problem to be one worth emulating: I have a job where I can often work from home, so "bringing my lunch to work" means hauling a plate of something from the kitchen to be consumed before my computer in the extra bedroom.

Not everyone is so lucky, I realize. But a job at Costco might be the next best thing.

Chancelucky said...

Does your briefcase have pictures of popular cartoon characters on the outside, include a thermos, and is it made of brightly colored plastic underneath the leather?

If so, I had a briefcase just like it a long time ago that I used for brining lunches to school every day.

Dale said...

Yep, I still agree. Plus I'll get free samples of other stuff at Costco right? Win - win!

What was on the outside of your briefcase ChanceLucky? Mine is actually leather and I'm not saying what's under that.